David Hogg Shares Bad News for His Pillow Supporters (Hysterical News for Everyone Else)

For those of you who predicted David Hogg was going to fail at his dream to create the wokest pillow EVAH, good on you for the accurate guess!

Let’s recap. Mike Lindell has a company he calls MyPillow where he sells pillows. Lindell was in the news for [REDCATED DUE TO FACEBOOK BEING D*CKS ABOUT CENSORSHIP]. Let’s just say that Lindell was expressing political opinions that former child star Hogg disagreed with. Instead of boycotting the pillow company like so many of Hogg’s leftist douchelord colleagues, Hogg was going to launch his own pillow company. He was going to pour all of his soggiest socialist beliefs into running the goodest pillow company ever. Hence the name “Good Pillow.” Hogg had a website and a Twitter account! Unfortunately, he had no actual knowledge of how to start a business. It turns out, it takes more than just feelings and a fanbase of silly people.

Reality finally sunk in. Hogg announced he’s pulling out of the pillow.

Effective immediately, I have resigned and released all shares, any ownership and any control of Good Pillow LLC. I want to thank Will for his partnership and wish him absolutely nothing but success with the future of Good Pillow.

Serving as an advocate and activist is just one (major) part of my life. I do hope to one day shape our global community to become more aware, progressive and equitable through social entrepreneurship and other avenues in the future.

For now, it would appear that David Hogg is returning to his former career: Guy who tweets stupid things.

This was always going to be the obvious ending. You had to know David Hogg’s heart wasn’t going to be in it. Building a company? Creating jobs? Usefully contributing to society? That’s a lot of hard work. David Hogg isn’t about that. His first love is also going to be making ignorant comments about the second amendment. He now has a president who does nothing BUT make ignorant comments about the second amendment. It’s a match made in heaven for him. Let someone else be in the asset column. David Hogg just wants to be activist famous.

He’s a former child celebrity. Starting a pillow company was supposed to be his Dancing with the Stars Who are America’s Worst Cooks in a Big Brother House. Maybe Biden’s anti-gun push can restore young David to his former glory. Maybe he and Greta Thunberg can get a show flipping eco-friendly houses together. Or, maybe Hogg will just tweet a lot. We’ll all have to tune in together to find out.

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Author: Brodigan

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I'm awesome! What else would I say about myself.