Five Things More Interesting Than Ted Cruz Going to Cancun

Ted Cruz going to Cancun was a mistake. Bad optics. The proverbial political kidney stone that too shall pass. I know it. You know it. Ted Cruz knows it. Here he is giving a press conference about how much he knows it.


RAW VIDEO: Texas Senator Ted Cruz speaks after returning from Cancun

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But it’s clear the media wants to do the national outrage, nonstop coverage thing. Heidi Cruz’s group text messages were leaked to the New York Times, which everyone knows is a flagrant violation of girl code. Protesters are screaming things at him. Vegas is setting an over/under on how many minutes are spent covering this on CNN. You can challenge a friend to do a shot every time CNN mentions Cruz while you do a shot every time they mention Trump. See who gets drunk first. Plus I was led to believe what happens in Mexico stays in Mexico. Isn’t that how the song goes?

Texans are free to decide how much bandwidth they want to spend on this. I can think of any number of things I care about more.

Andrew Cuomo f***ing up. Or him getting caught finally. We’ve been hearing for a year what a hero he was in dealing with the pandemic. A model for all other states to follow, unlike jerkfaces like Ron DeSantis and Kristi Noem. Cuomo was regularly praised by CNN, which employs his brother Chris, who did most of the praising. Turns out, Andy was the tyrant many of us thought he was all along. Possibly responsible for more deaths. Allegedly.

– The Buffalo Bills are interested in J.J. Watt, and the feeling is reported to be mutual. That’s exciting. More so than wondering if the New York Jets are going to waste another first-round draft pick again.

Does anyone know what Joe Biden’s plan is to open schools? More specifically, if those plans are going to screw up the schools that have been open since September? I live in an area of America that follows the science. Biden so far has been following the money of the teachers’ unions. The same unions have made it clear since July that they don’t care about students or parents. If his new rules will affect the parents and students around these parts, we’d all like to know.

– Is anyone watching WandaVision? I know we’re supposed to be boycotting Disney+ after the Gina Carano fiasco, but I’m paid through September. Today’s episode had quite the twist to it.

I’m still stuck on Fauci-ing. I know people have turned to Pope Tony on all things corona-related. Like, oh my God, you guys. Anthony Fauci is totally the new Andrew Cuomo. But to base your dating profile to weed out anyone who might not be taking the ‘rona as seriously as Tony? There’s a reason why people are turning to sex robots. Good luck speed dating while you’re wearing three masks. Or any of the other things Fauci has recently flip-flopped over.

These are just some of the things I care about more than that CruzCancunGateGhaziPalooza. Long story short about a senator who isn’t my senator jaunting off to Mexico…

The real list is longer. FIVE is just such a nice number. What are some things you care about more? Feel free to comment on either Facebook or Parler. Wherever you happened to stumble across this post.


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Author: Brodigan

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I'm awesome! What else would I say about myself.