One of the first orders of business for the Biden administration is a robust COVID relief package. Robustier than any COVID relief package before. If the robust package were a bust, it would be Dolly Parton. Get it? That’s a boob joke. Though a robust “package” could also be a d*ck reference. Speaking of someone who is both a d*ck and a boob, Andrew Cuomo is demanding $15 billion. It’s not clear if he’s demanding it from the robust package specifically. But it needs to come from the federal government. Or else!
New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo had one overriding message Tuesday as he delivered his annual budget address from New York’s state Capitol: If Washington doesn’t send New York $15 billion as part of a pandemic relief package, he’ll have no choice but to slash public payrolls, cut services and raise taxes on the rich.
Andrew Cuomo’s record on COVID is mixed. Some point to how oh-so-funny he and his idiot brother are on CNN. Others point to all the Memaws and Pop-Pops who are dead because of his alleged incompetence. As well as numerous examples of other alleged incompetence. Feel free to decide on your own how YOU feel Andrew Cuomo does as a leader and/or a human being. But with Andy’s new request, I don’t think he knows how threats work.
There are ninety-eight senators who are not from New York. 408 congresspeople from outside the Empire State. I’m going to go out on a limb and say most of them have their own concerns about their own constituents. Most states are struggling. Andy’s cries that his state is struggling worser than anyone else will probably fall on deaf ears. As will his claim that he’ll take it out on New Yorkers if he doesn’t get his money. I don’t think this needs an allegedly, but people from outside New York tend not to like people from New York. Though I’d argue they confuse NYC with the rest of the state. People who live in Upstate America are pretty dope.
Andrew Cuomo can demand billions and billions of dollars all he wants. Just don’t be surprised if President Biden has a four-word response. “New phone, who dis?”
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