Report: Tom Cruise Buys Two Robots to Enforce COVID Guidelines on Movie Set

Tom Cruise went off on a well-publicized COVID rant last month. Crew members on whatever Mission Impossible they’re up to were not abiding by proper guidelines, and the actor was quite put off by it. He wasn’t without a point. If the production gets shut down, people are out of work. If you think the virus is ballocks and don’t agree with the guidelines, don’t take the job. I’m with him there. Now he’s apparently bought robots to help enforce COVID guidelines. For no other reason than … he’s Tom Cruise. This is the same guy who believes in Xenu and midichlorians or whatever else Scientologists believe in.

He has paid huge sums for the gadgets which can also administer on-the-spot tests to staff.

“Tom is so serious about making sure the shoot isn’t shut down that he’s splashed out on these robots as he can’t be everywhere to ensure people are behaving themselves.

The source went on: “The robots are really sophisticated and rather intimidating. It’s like the Terminator only not as violent.”

No, the robots in the thumbnail are NOT the intimidating robots in question. I’d like to think it’s obvious I went with a silly photo to illustrate the silliness of this story. But Facebook is getting rather liberal with the “fact” check lately.

I wish I had a photo of the less violent COVID-enforcing Terminator robots because they sound awesome! I can imagine not thinking so if you are working on the set. You may not have put your mask on fast enough after finishing your coffee. Sirens blare. An eight-foot robot approaches you, his angry red robot eyes looking like you’re about to be incinerated by lasers, carrying a machine gun that is loaded with extra-strength chloroquine. “ALERT ALERT! PERSON NOT WEARING MASK DETECTED! YOU HAVE FIVE SECONDS TO COMPLY BEFORE INJECTED WITH REGENERON.” I’d hope that person was wearing his brown pants.

It all sounds like a bad Tom Cruise movie, which I’m sure Tom Cruise is writing. Robots become sentient and take over the production of Mission Impossible. Cruise needs to draw on all his acting ability to become a real-life Ethan Hunt. But he has no stunt man to do the hard work. His usual stunt man was only sitting five feet away from the key grip, and the COVIDenator flung him into the English Channel.


Rise of the RACIST POLICE ROBOTS!!! (Studio Sketch) | Louder With Crowder

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Author: Brodigan

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I'm awesome! What else would I say about myself.