Wake Up to O.J. Simpson Sharing His Thoughts About Wednesday’s Capitol Events

I’d like to offer a retraction. On Wednesday, I mistakenly stated Bill Cosby was the last person whose opinion on Wednesday’s Capitol event we need to hear. That was said in error, and for that, I apologize. Turns out O.J. Simpson had some thoughts on the matter too. At this point, the only person left to opine is Joe Exotic. Someone else that the Juice has unironic things to say about. It’s been a week. Let’s get the chuckles where we can find them.

[Wednesday] was some kinda day. It started with me playing golf with all my boys …

Besides being a football star who (allegedly) got away with murder, the Juice is a budding food blogger. You need to get through a narrative of his feels before getting to the recipe. But eventually, he does.

My first thought was, Olympus has fallen! Where’s Gerard Butler?

You know, I’ve been in the legal system, and I’ve had verdicts that I didn’t agree with.

They were destroying property and stealing things, and during the midst of this felony, somebody was killed. The law is pretty specific about things like that …

I’m interested to see what our government is going to do about it. I’m sure it’s going to get pretty serious.

So there you have it. America’s sweetheart took time away from chopping it up (pun intended) with his boys. His fans(?) needed to know that he, O.J. Simpson, was paying attention to the news. And that he thinks what happened was pretty serious. Perhaps not as serious as his lifelong quest to find out who really killed his ex-wife. But definitely in the top three. Right above figuring out how Leslie Nielsen made farting sounds every time he shook hands on the set of Naked Gun.

At this point, there’s really only one icon of yesteryear whose opinions we haven’t heard from yet: The Iron Sheik. We the people can’t start the healing process until the former WWF champion chimes in.

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Author: Brodigan

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I'm awesome! What else would I say about myself.