Violent Leftist Attacks College Republican President at Sacramento State

Never let it be said that slap boxing isn’t a dignified form of attack. For here, Keaton Hill (angry leftist of the little man variety) engages in open fisticuffs with Floyd Johnson, former president of the College Republicans club at Sacramento State. If you think there’s a really good reason for the fight, no. More on that below. First, watch this man-baby fling his shit-posting fingers like they’re throwing stars.

He’s going to make some lucky young woman a great sperm doner someday.

Now, what got this slap match going? If you think it was trading insults over whose mother is fatter, Star Trek vs. Star Wars, or that Impossible Meat burgers are just as delicious as In & Out, I’m so sorry to disappoint.

From the Sacramento Bee:

Floyd Johnson II said his feud with Keaton Hill began Thursday night when Hill commented on a mutual friend’s anti-abortion Facebook post, saying “I hope that kid on your page dies of whatever cancer they have.” A brief online dispute between the two followed, with Hill allegedly telling Johnson to say whatever he had to say face-to-face.

A Facebook post. As in a post on Facebook. That’s what eventually led Keaton Hill in a fight to the callouses with Floyd Johnson the Second.

Dwight Schrute was right.

Nothing says privileged society like a leftist feeling entitled to a game of slappy hands over an argument that happened on social media. Where both dudes were likely shit posting while in their underpants if not on the can.

Hill did not immediately respond to a request for comment on the incident, but told the State Hornet newspaper, “I apologize for lunging at Floyd’s phone, although I strongly emphasize that it was not without provocation.”

If you’re wondering why Keaton Hill’s face wasn’t given a facial via rapid asphalt scrubbing, Floyd Johnson explained he didn’t feel Keaton’s slapping, especially considering Keaton’s Neopolanic stature, deserved retaliation. What with Johnson being rather larger than the college leftist’s version of a gnat. So good on him.

Notice how most of these “hateful” and “violent” stories are being perpetrated by the left against the right, and rarely vice versa.

Still, violence is not the answer… to a Facebook comment. But since many on the left feel like they have the market on social justice cornered, they seem they’re called to sidle up to any “Nazi” and address them with violence. Or what might pass as violence to second-grade girls.

Grandma's Boy Shit's Weak

Violence is the answer if you’re defending yourself from violence. So had Keaton tried to slap me, I would’ve introduced his crotch straw to my right knee. I figure my right knee has a wider surface area than whatever slender member falls betwixt his noodle legs. The odds are in my favor.

For more examples of leftist bravery, check out Pro-Choice High School Principal ATTACKS Pro-Life Advocates and WATCH: Male Feminist Roundhouse Kicks Pro-Life Advocate.

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Author: Courtney Kirchoff