‘I Am Being Held Hostage By The Squad And Am Impeaching Trump Against My Will,’ Nancy Pelosi Frantically Blinks Out In Morse Code
WASHINGTON, D.C.—As Nancy Pelosi held a press conference along with other House Democrats to announce that they would be introducing articles of impeachment against President Trump, Pelosi reportedly blinked out a cry for help in morse code.
Observant viewers noticed Pelosi was blinking out some kind of pattern.
“Hey, it’s morse code!” said one Fox News reporter. “Let’s see what she’s saying.” Investigative journalists wrote down the complex series of dashes and dots blinked out by Pelosi, and sure enough, a message emerged.
“I am being held hostage by the Squad, STOP.” she blinked out. “I am impeaching Trump against my will, STOP. They are currently holding my family in a warehouse down by the docks, STOP. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is standing right behind this curtain holding a fully automatic 30-clip assault rifle revolver handgun, STOP. If I try to get off the impeachment train, who knows what they will do, STOP.”
“Please send help, STOP.”
All the while, she continued to give her speech saying that she absolutely supports impeachment against President Trump 100%. The FBI sent a SWAT team down to the warehousing district and sure enough, three figures were throwing Pelosi’s family into the Potomac while they wore concrete shoes. They managed to save the family, but the remaining members of the Squad got away in their clown car.
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Author: The Babylon Bee