New York Times Writer Bret Stephens Was Called a “Bedbug” So Now He’s Having a Tantrum

What’s the worst thing you’ve been called? Think about it for a minute. Roll it around in your head. Chew on it. Was it a four-letter word? Perhaps a derivative of a four-letter word? Were you possibly called by a name typically associated with a human’s back hole or what may come from it? Maybe you were called something more in line with the front genitalia. Perhaps someone called into question the marital status of your parents when you were born, or that you weren’t born of humans at all but of dogs. Whatever insult lobbed at your soul, were you ever compared to an insect, like a bedbug? Because according to Bret Stephens from the New York Times, few things are worse.

“That kind of rhetoric is dehumanizing.”

The whole purpose of insults is to mock and “dehumanize.” But it’s not like Stephens was called a Nazi, clump of cells, cuck, alt-right, the n-word, the c-word, or worst of all, a tumbler-sipper. He was called a bedbug. Calm thy tits. Related: Chris Cuomo Unloads the Crazy After Someone Calls him Fredo.

How did Stephens handle being compared to a bug? He wrote a letter in which he asked the insulter to “COME TO MY HOUSE AND SAY IT TO MY FACE!” Meet me under the bleachers after third period, you meanie pants stupid head. Imma give you a knuckle sammich!

Oh, also, we have the Twitter thread from the Bedbug Accuser, including the tattle-tale email:

Stay strong Dr. Karpf!

“I also CC’d his provost on the note, but I had no intention to get him into professional trouble, so that’s why I copied him, obviously. His boss should know what kind of poo-poo face he is!”

Have you ever seen something so sad from someone so sheltered?

“Analogizing people to insects is always wrong.”

Wonder what Bret Stephens has to say about Trump supporters being analogized to fascists, racists, slaveowners, and general monsters. I wonder what he has to say about babies being dehumanized as “clumps of cells” or “blobs of tissues” so they can be exterminated by the millions every year. But, you know, being called a bedbug. That’s gotta be traumatizing. Get this man a stress ball and a cuddle pillow. Dude needs some serious me-time after being compared to an insect. Shut off all social media, everyone. Bret Stephens was called a BUG!

Also, here’s an opening paragraph from Stephens’ piece titled: Is Trump Keyser Söze — Or Inspector Clouseau?

Maybe Donald Trump isn’t just some two-bit con artist who lucked his way into the White House thanks to an overconfident opponent. Or a second-rate demagogue with a rat-like instinct for arousing his base’s baser emotions and his enemies’ knee-jerk reactions. Or a dimwit mistaken for an oracle, like some malignant version of Chauncey Gardiner from “Being There.”

I spy with my little eyes three insults: two-bit con artist, rat-like, dimwit. Though not as bad as “bedbug” the insult rule applies: if you can’t take it, don’t dish it out! BEDBUG!

Bret Stephens looks a bit older than a Millennial. Maybe he’s GenX. Whatever he is, for sure he’s a snowflake in need of a safe space stocked with coloring books, Legos, and his mommy’s boob to suck on when he needs comfort.

There are worse things, BretBug:


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Author: Courtney Kirchoff