Fri. Nov 22nd, 2019

Disgraced Former FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe Hired by CNN

2 min read

Solidifying their reputation as fake news, CNN has recently hired the disgraced former FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe. As a reminder, then-Attorney General Jeff Sessions fired this dingbat back in 2018, just two days before McCabe was set to retire to a life of bad Hawaiian shirts and pull my finger jokes. Ouchtown. But when life chucks lemons at you because you deserved it, CNN will be there to offer you a banana.

Why was McCabe given the ax? From The Daily Caller:

The Department of Justice’s inspector general recommended firing McCabe earlier this week over allegations that he authorized the disclosure of sensitive information to a reporter. The OIG is set to release a report that also accuses McCabe of lacking candor about such disclosures during the DOJ’s yearlong review of the Hillary Clinton investigation.

I see. McCabe blabbed. He spilled secrets like Tess Holliday spills tummy rolls over her skinny jeans. Even better, McCabe sounds like a Hillary shill. I guess keeping security secure wasn’t high on his priority list. Fortunately for McCabe, CNN likes both Hillary shills and blabbing about secrets, so he should fit right in with the likes of Brian “Totally Straight” Stelter, Chris “Fredo” Cuomo, and Jim “Doucheface” Acosta.

Just glad CNN has embraced its brand of fake news by hiring this tool. Why take it to the haters by hiring someone with integrity when you can scoop up someone who cares more about himself than anyone else? It’s so on brand.


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Author: Courtney Kirchoff